Single me...what is it I want

Single me sure is silly. I walk through life with the vision of what I want and tell myself I will have it. But hello, when it is right in front of me.....ugh what a scary scary moment that is. Maybe I should not plan out how things should be and just go with what feels right. Hell I say it enough, time to live my words. Single me may not be the best player on the field, but I can hold my own.

Truth is we all have our wants and somewhere along the journey to obtain those wants, we loose sight of what we need. Woman are the worst when it comes to this and men, well they follow a very close second. For instance ladies, ask yourself  this question, " will a diamond ring ever compare to a sweet note on your pillow saying I love you?".  For me, the answer is an honest no. And men, does a night of kinky fun ever replace when she looks at you and says " Honey I need you". I am guessing not (although the kinky fun is really fun LOL). So what is it we really want, what is it that I want?

I took this thought and went with it. I made a list of wants and needs and what a list it was. Real eye opener for me and a reflection of whom I have become on this journey. If I were to and this list to a man I was dating, he would run scared. I looked at and went, how could anyone ever meet all these expectations of my happiness. That was when I opened these eyes and saw the light. So I took that list of mine and I tossed it in the trash where it belonged. No more wants and needs for me. I am going to just wing it, go with the flow, because up till this point nothing else has really taken me to that place of happiness I seek.

I look back at "my kind of perfect" and realize, not one thing he did that made me happy and feel the way I did (do) was on my list. Because of that, I have no regrets about my relationship with him, nor do I have one bad feeling towards him. No I would not turn back the clock or chase after the past, that is not what I am saying here. What I am saying is that happiness can't be found on a list we make. Whether that list is in your head or on a piece of scratch paper, get rid of it. Happiness is found in the heart and the air that we breath. It surrounds us everyday and can not be planned. There is no good time or bad time for it and it really never leaves you once you have it. Happiness is what we want and it is most surely what we need.  So live, laugh and do it again.